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 Post subject: Catwoman (2004)
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 6:34 pm 
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Cast:
Halle Berry as Patience Phillips/Catwoman
Benjamin Bratt as Detective Tom Lone
Sharon Stone as Laurel Hedare
Lambert Wilson as George Hedare
Frances Conroy as Ophelia Powers, aka "Catlady"
Alex Borstein as Sally
Michael Massee as Armando
Byron Mann as Wesley
Alex Cooper as Gloria Ojeda
Kim Smith as Drina

This movie is horrible. I knew it was going to suck, but even having extremely low expectations didn't help. Its like they took someone who had never even heard of DC comics (much less Catwoman) and said "make a movie about a superhero named Catwoman" and the person took it WAY too literally. She loves fish, hates water and dogs, sleeps on shelves, claws people, and makes cat puns constantly (she also once said "purrfectly"). I've always hated that movie makers seem to need to give Catwoman super powers. She's a cat burglar who happens to like cats. Its just a gimmick she uses. But, both tim Burton and...PITOF (literally trhe name used for the director,) seem to think thats not good enough, that she needs mystic cat powers. Atleast Batman Returns just gave her nine lives, it didn't give her the ability to become crappy CGI.

Speaking of CGI, its bad. It looks like a ok CG cutscene from a PS2 game, which isn't good for a live action movie that mixes the CG with actual fighting and stuff. Also, this movie takes itself way too seriously. It expects the audience to actually believe that some cats are magical, and periodically give magic powers to women. It treats this topic completely seriously, and honestly it makes those scenes partly funny and partly awkward. The scene where the cats give Paitence Phillips (seriously, why not call her selina Kyle? If you can call this lame cat powered superhero Catwoman and pretend she's even loosely based of the DC character, you should atleast use the same name) her powers had such dramatic music, and such bad cat CGI, that it was funny.

The villains are bland and forgettable. Sharon stone plays an older model who uses anti aging cream that has some bad side effects if you stop using it, like having your face start to dissolve (but if you keep using it, it turns your skin hard, like living marble :roll: ). Her husband knows about the side effects, but he's generic evil buissnessman, so he lets the product be made. Stone on the other hand just seems to actively want people to suffer.

Catwoman's friend, played by Alex Borstein, is obnoxious and fairly useless, and the cop love interest is generic and boring. Hallie Berry is in this to be hot, thats it. 90% of her Catwoman scenes (that aren't bad CGI) are her walking around sexily, cracking her whip at no one, and making bad puns (she actually grabs a goon's tounge and says "Whats the matter, Cat got your tounge?"). Her parts outside of the costume are just annoying, her character is the generic clumsy, average girl and isn’t interesting. She’s an advertising artist for the villain’s beauty product company who, by accident, finds out about the evil side effects of the product, and gets killed because of it (until the cats bring her back). Honestly, its not that her acting is horrible, its more that the movie just sucks. I don't really have an opinion of her as an actor, but I don't think anyone could have played the part any better with what they were given. There isn’t much to say about the costume, it’s a generic leather costume made to show the actress off. In the comics, Catwoman’s bodysuit atleast would make her hard to see, and cuts down on any DNA she may leave behind.

The story has every bad cliche ever invented. The cop who falls in love with the protaganist only to find out she's the criminal he's trying to catch, Catwoman being framed for murders she hasn't committed because she keeps showing up at the murder scenes right when witnesses walk in, and more. There were no ligitemately funny jokes, just horrible moments that made me laugh a bit. Overall, its not only one of the worstsuperhero movies, but one of the worst (mainstream) movies ever made.

1/10

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 Post subject: Re: Catwoman (2004)
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 6:53 pm 
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I heard a rumor somewhere that they used an old discarded script not related to Catwoman in any way and just shoved Catwoman elements to the mix,whether it's true or not you have to admit it's a pretty accurate description.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:11 pm 
Knight
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Yeah, I could totally see this movie originally being about a generic cat power superheroine, and then them added DC's Catwoman into it to make more people want to see it.

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